January 9, 2010 at 3:31 am (Uncategorized)

Distributors are wanted nationwide for a new adult-wear product. Inspired by the events on a Delta plane in Detroit USA last Christmas it is the all-new Pam2Bum for adults, otherwise known as P2B. The concept of the original brand which came in use in sub-Saharan Africa, introduced in the last decade, immediately became a hit. It was simple to use. Just strip off the outer pack and gently slap and pad to the baby’s butt and you are good to go.
Over the years, the product has been moderated and improved especially in response to feedback from end-users. Some of such improvement include
i. Increasing the absorbency capacity to cater for babies with heavy flow and who pee more randomly
ii. Closing down the escape routes down the legs for babies that like sneak-peeing or fluid-pooing.
iii. Creating more holding capacity for babies that produce twice or more their expected fair share (or installed capacity) of pooh
iv. Making the used or loaded product more disposer (or society) friendly. By this is meant that after use it can be folded flat almost like a pie and one could dispose even in refuse-restricted areas as easily as letting one’s handkerchief fall.
v. Including one or two extras (depending on the season) per pack to help parents who are cash-strapped at the time they should be contemplating refill.
However, following the events of Christmas 2009, when a certain over-aged youth re-wrote the manual for the use of the product, there has been a buzz in the industry. The initial response of the management of the Pam brand was that money was coming. They had immediately instituted a lawsuit over the abuse of their product and exposure of their brand to disrepute. When they could not serve the court summons to the chief offender because of U.S hostility to anyone who either mentioned or wrote the words United States without good reasons, they did a re-think. They decided to re-design and expand the brand. The original product sold well among the toddlers and far less among the aged. Here was opportunity to create a designer brand for young people such as would go in tune with their current sagging craze. In case you do not know, sagging is the modern dressing that allows you to belt your trousers or just hang it below the waistline allowing those behind to view a vast array of boxer shorts, some of which became extinct in Europe and America at least one decade ago. Now, they would have access to designer labels for the pampers. This would be called the Swagger Pam. For good measure and to chase off credible competition, it was agreed to float at least two labels. Although coming from the same manufacturers, they would be made to appear to be competing brands. Some notable FOLLYWOOD superstars have been hired to exhibit the brand in every upcoming event including African Nations Cup. A brand of the new Pam product would be designed to look like a EUFA Cup ball. A number of big fashion awards have been bought for the brand over the next six months. Sales are expected to soar.
It would be recalled that the concept of pampers for the youth was first designed by associates of Farouk Umar Abdulmutallab, a young Nigerian accused of attempting to blow up a passenger plane last Christmas. Farouk evaded security by wearing his bomb pampers-style round his essential members. Had the bomb properly detonated, his whatever would have been first to disseminate. With Farouk pleading not guilty in a U.S court, trial is expected to be prolonged. Sales might also jump as effort is being made to raise a team of Save Farouk protesters who would stand opposite the court and wear the new product. They are expected to make all the leading newspapers in the world. They have been advised to turn their bums each time the photo journalists reached for the click. They would be paid according to the number of killer shots that are published.
Like is often mooted, you could find a fortune in the most unexpected places!

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