NAIJA … Nothing Do You!

November 19, 2010 at 6:53 pm (Uncategorized)

One of the problems of dying very old is that when you finally die, there is no one to cry for you. All that truly know you are gone. What is left is the mischievous generation who consider you a hag and a drain on their purses. The best they can see when they think of you is an impending party. Except if you remain a ‘guy man’ even in your old age and re-invent yourself in such a way that you remain relevant. The trouble with Nigeria is that Nigeria is old … too old to begin to learn to be left-handed in old age. The other problem is that the people who forced Nigeria to retire at merely fifty are still there waiting to finally bury it. They just won’t make way for the paramedics to try and revive the ailing man.
This is the reason most youths find it impossible to identify with a half-gone legacy. This is why they throw stones at people who are planting discord in the name of economy trees. That is why we laughed when Mrs Akunyili (whose daughters married foreigners … American) left her exalted field of pharmacy and muddled herself in the quagmire of lies and deceit that characterize the information ministry.She cleverly re-invented herself when she broke ranks with her general Aandoakaa and blew the whistle. But even before she blew the whistle, we all knew Yar Adua was offside … far gone. Anyway, she blew her own whistle and that has guaranteed her a cabinet recall as an honourable gentleman. She had put her energy into rebranding ‘good people and great nation’, but somehow something was always provoking laughter.
Nigeria is sickly but we are patriotic and would do anything to make it recover, including telling the world that we love our country. Including rising gallantly to defend our ‘scammed’ integrity when the heroic exploits of Alamesiegha, Ibori, Mutabllab, Amos Adamu etc on the foreign front stare us in the face. We stand resolute to say that we agree with the misadventure Lord Lugard did with us in 1914. And thank God the Super Falcons give us reasons to wave the bloodied green white and green.So why do we laugh at the rebranding? Because we know it only ends on the surface. We know that when the rebranders come, they will whitewash the faces of poor by-standers and push them before the cameras when those who need to be rebranded are rebranding to status quo whatever she succeeds in rebranding. Does she not know the people that are in the forefront of calumny against the Nigerian state? Does she not know that even the president of the senate went through a tortuous journey to prove that he was indeed elected and that many remain unconvinced? Does she not hold any form of conversation with Mrs Farida Waziri who would gladly give her a list of people needy of rebranding? So we laughed at her and told her to sing and dance and go home in May.
But then, we had a rethink. The problem was not in the concept of rebranding. We all in fact believe that it would be good to rebrand, only we were wary of expecting too much from people who have failed us for fifty years. So we thought, ‘why the hell not?’ So people began a search for something they could genuinely identify wit and something they could build on. Then they found Naija and she says no. Now we say, NO, WE WANT NAIJA. The Nigeria we got from Zik, Awo and Tafawa is too divided along ethnic sentiments. The one we got from Gowon, Obj, Murtala, Buhari, Babangida and Abdulsalam is too bloody. The one OBJ and Yar Adua left us is deceitful. We have invented ours. It is called NAIJA and it is still redeemable. Ain’t nutting nobody can do about it! Naija … nothing do you!


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