what if….. (poetry)

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What If

The days of youth fade into the dim past

So soon arrived the gray and white

The limbs prepare for a journey longer

Than any yet

With each day readier with weakness

For I go in weakness

The journey would be on wings not mine

Soon the ripened fruit would drop

For it has become heavy with ripeness

That has come ever so light

What if I tell them

So eager to send me peacefully on,

Laden with their petitions

What if I let on the things beneath?

The void unnerves me

The emptiness envelops my soul

This journey is too lonesome

The reception is uncertain

Will I find my way?

Who would I meet to guide my flight?

The years flew past me like a wind

Where did time go?

Giving me strength, beauty and thought

All it would take back piecemeal

Now I stand in the sands of time

Desiring to return

To the surer sands I have known

A place without place for me

For my passage is earned and due

What if they knew

The sands make me uncertain

Some are quick, some slippery

That I dread the cold hands

The whiteness that comes over me

Bringing panic I cannot hold

The numbness spreads a fire of terror

In my courage I have bought my space

Carved and ready it waits

To receive the luggage that served me years

The worn and torn carnage

Full unfit to hold my young spirit

And no longer can match the adventure

That my spirit holds like in midlife

A masterpiece carved to meet my needs

My courage is pointed to

For I have indeed packed up to leave

But what if they know

That I fear to live where I have built

That I do not know what holds

The preacher too holds questions

They tell of a saviour waiting.

What if I do not find him there

Or if I travel too fast?

What if I arrive before he comes

What if I do not find a place

What if the enemy grabs me first

What if I cannot tell them apart

What if …. What if…..

This part of the divide must relinquish me

But this is all the certainty I know

What if in my dying babbles they know

That I too am only a coward

Like the rest of us.

What if ….?

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1 Comment

  1. joshuaheizer said,

    very nice.

    check out mine..
    http://joshuaheizer.wordpress.com

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